Final Weigh In.

I'd kindly like to ask anyone who is going to read this blog post, to please first watch all 2 minutes and 29 seconds of this video first: Rocky clip (I strongly advise you watch it, so that we're all singing from the same hymn sheet)

Have you watched it? High motherflumping five biaatches! This final week has been summed up passionately in this video clip. Even dontask2015 has summed it up in his Clip Description as "So Inspirational" Dontask 2015, short and sweet, but you hit the nail on the head. Trying to finish the final week of milkshakes was the last lap of an emotional and physical marathon and Rocky is on my page. He was a lot more physical as I have discovered I have a lot to do to get as fit as him. But mentally this is how I felt, and all those beautiful people cheering him on, running behind him, was you, yes you, cheeky, reading this, you big babe. Pass the Kleenex ladies and gents because a Rach is Shaked and feeling very overwhelmed.

Did Rocky think he was going to get up those stairs? Did Obama think he was going to be the first black president of America? Did Gareth Gates think he would overcome his stutter and get to the final of Pop Idol.? Maybe. But, definitely not at first. I never ever in a gazillion years think I could put down the Pringles tub and have meal replacement Milkshakes. But look at us now. Obama is in his 2nd term, Gareth is in the West End. Rocky I don't know because I lost count after Rocky 5. But Dontask 2015 said it first, he did inspire us. And I, am three stone lighter.

I enjoyed my last week as I was able to eat two meals, despite having to eat one for breakfast I was so glad to feel normal again. I made the error of keeping my choc whip one for the last day, as it was disgusting! But in a good way it was nice as it was all the better for feeling the "see you later shakes" feeling. This week was a very hard week to be finishing on as it was coming up to Easter Sunday. If ever there was a temptation, it was this week. I finished my two-week work experience at Tiger so made some cakes to say thanks for having me, and the office had also passed round Easter treats so they were flung at me left right and centre. My friend who also works there had told some people about my blog before and some of them had been reading it so everyone was really supportive and encouraging about the diet, so I didn't have to defend that I wasn't being rude turning down their home made cakes.

It was my friends Murder Mystery party on the Saturday night, I decided during the week that I was going to have my first drink and treat that night as it was the end of the week and it was a good time to celebrate the end of the shakes, with my friends being there. I had a glass of champagne which felt lovely a nice way to toast it. My friend Amy had made lovely 60s cocktails, such as Andy Warhol cocktails (from his Campbell’s soup tin) and I had a slice of birthday cake and some nibbles for the birthday. I just felt like it was the end of the week anyway and on my last day everyone would be at work so I did it then. It felt really nice but a big part of me was worrying about getting too drunk having not drunk for 12 weeks, and about how much I was eating. I really paced myself and drank water and I didn't actually feel drunk all night. Maybe over panicking, and sometimes when you build something up too much you’re waiting for a big "wooooop" to come. If that even makes sense? I went for a swim and a run to work this off between the next two days to undo it and when I went to my weigh in I actually stayed the same weight, which was a relief. I'm not disappointed by this as I know I want to lose another stone, but I knew I was having a celebratory drink, and it's encouraging to see that when you do exercise it does keep it off.

A few people have asked me how I'm dealing with the eating part. I thought before on the shakes was the struggle. But it is actually more steps for Rocky to climb at the minute. On the milkshakes it's black and white, measured out for you, you pour water in it, drink your black tea and coffee and tons of water. Done. You know where you are. Now I'm planning meals thinking "I am allowed this, but how much?" "Oh I could have that, but then less of that" etc. Then there are meal times. Last week I was coming home at 7, not sitting down till 8, eating at 8 surely isn't good? It's all a bit confusing. I don't want to turn into a crazy calorie controlled lady. Life can't be all about worrying about food and weight. But I did work way too hard to undo it. I'm really going to have to manage this well. There is also the exercise; throughout the shakes you don't exercise, which makes it hard when you finish. Today I was running up a huge hill where I live and I had to put on "Enter Sandman" by Metallica on my iPod to get me up it. I got up there in the end, and it was no Rocky video. It was I bent over considering phoning an ambulance.

Then again, did I ever think I would lose 3 stone in 12 weeks? No no no. This is the next marathon. If my friends, family and ABBA gold CD is half as supportive as they were while on the diet, I'll be toned, fit and ready in time. On that note thank you so much to all the little txts, messages, comments and phone calls encouraging me to this point. It may seem so little to you, but to me it has literally pushed me and pulled me up and been a big fat virtual hug. It's been the loveliest of all lovely things to receive. I'm one lucky gal and just so overwhelmed at the minute. I’m so unbelievably happy. If I can help anyone I really hope I do. I thanked Dearbhail at the weekend for being there for me,and giving me the confidence to do it. She was brave and did it off her own back. I did it knowing it worked from seeing her. We both agreed that the nicest feeling is being happy in how you feel about yourself, and to be proud of yourself. As my brother Marc txt me when I told him I finished my last shake #FromFatToPhat (among other lovely and supportive things, this was just how he summed it up)

My friend Beckie met me from my weigh in today and took me straight to get me a Vodka Lime and Soda at Mid day, Slainte!! (Cheers in Irish) Goodbye shakes! The only shake shake shaking I want to be doing is my shaking slimmer hips around a dance floor! 

3 is the magic number

Food glorious food! Who knew cherry tomatoes had SO much flavor. Who knew a red onion was so crunch? Who knew chicken was so tender? I probably did before. But I didn't realise HOW much. My taste buds went through the ordeal of going through "rebirth" as they put it. And oh. my. god. Tastes sensations. As you'll have guessed, I've been having meals this week! I've started the re-feed and it is AMAZING!

It's like I've never tried food before. Honestly, the smallest thing is divine. One of the ideas of Lipotrim is to retrain your taste buds, I had always explained to people this "rebirth idea". But I said it in an almost script manner, as I had only ever read about it and had to trust that. But to be honest the whole time I was saying it I had actually been panicking that I'd start to reintroduce food and get so excited that I'd get carried away and make up for lost time. I guess it's only natural to over panic. Well I can happily said, having experienced, a salad was the nicest and fulfilling *wooooo!* thing I have ever tasted. The crunch!t he taste! the bursting of the cherry tomato! (which I actually got on my nice white bed covers) I'm very aware I'm romanticizing it, and I might be going a bit too far. But oh, my, my....

Monday I started the work experience at Tiger. I had one of the new maintenance flavours for breakfast. It was "summer fruits" and it was lovely. It was such a welcome change to vanilla, chocolate and strawberry that I have been having for 10 weeks, zzzzzzz. It was also a lot thicker, as it has more in it to prepare your stomach for food. I brought my cream of vegetable to work with a whisk as I am so over being that girl with the blender. It unfortunately was vile. I had hoped having had a good experience with the summer fruits that they would all have the treat flavour quality. But I'd happily have had the others for one more week if I didn't have to try that again. I know this sounds slightly dramatic, but it's been a long process, my emotions with food are up the left. It wasn't needed. BUT, wasn't I going home that night to cook and eat and chew and taste and mmm hmmm. A disappointing soup didn't get me down. Plus, I was now allowed to introduce bread so I had a slice of wholewheat toast. Warm food! It was the equivalent of one of my granny's scones that had just come out of the oven, clattered in butter. It was just amazing to have some warm comforting food. As y'all know the weather has been a b*tch, so bitter cold, having gone this time with no warm food, a piece of toast was an absolute dream. Anyway, I have been thoroughly enjoying my time at Tiger, the time flies (that’s how you know you're enjoying it) and then I get to go home and have dinner! It's amazing. I'm that smiley girl on the tube that you think there is something wrong with. I went home and had grilled chicken, red pepper, red onion, cucumber, mushroom and cherry tomato. I was allowed it with 2 tsp of balsamic vinegar and sprinkle of ginger. Sweet. Mother. Of. Mercy. I couldn't believe it. It took me about an hour to eat it; my gums were exhausted from chewing. Overall it was just overwhelming. I was panicking eating it, as if "is this allowed?" I was waiting for someone burst through and tell me off. It was just divine. 

For the next few days I brought the chicken salad for lunch to work as it was just too much hassle bringing a whisk/blender. It would just make my day having it. I didn't want to tell people straight away but I found it funny that they just though it was normal someone eating, but in my head it was food fireworks! The only thing was, it was a bit of a tease. Having already had your 1 meal, then going home to a shake. But still, the summer fruits and orange cream were so much nicer that it wasn't an issue. The chocolate whip one, not as bad as the soup, but it was no Malteaser Bunny. It was meant to be the idea of moose, the word "gloop" comes to mind. It doesn't taste so horrible; it's just a bit strange. This one you add milk to, also to prepare your stomach.
 

During the week my friend Beckie had won 5 tickets for a private box at the Royal Albert Hall to go to Primal Scream. She very kindly invited me along. What a treat. I had the salad and chicken during the day so it kept me going which was nice. The girls shared a bottle of red, I was still jealous; however I'm now allowed milk in my coffee and tea (not on its own yet) so I was able to have a skinny latte. Yes I said it a skinny latte! I know, horrific, I’m one of those girls, next I’ll be ordering a gin and tonic 'slim line!'. It was very luxurious to have a nice milky coffee. Just to not have to sit at an event with water, which I drink allllllll day. We didn't get home until late which meant I was having my shake quite late. I did think at the time how much I'm looking forward to not having to think ahead about making my shakes. And worrying about waking people with the bloody blender!

By day 4 on the maintenance menu I was allowed to introduce a baked potato or 6 new potatoes. As I said I'm so terrified of me being caught I had it in my head that I wasn't allowed it. I didn't want to bring it to work; I wanted my first potato to be fresh out of the over, the scone feeling! So I put this off until Friday, like a weekend treat. I got home and got into my pj's (rock n roll) and made it with a tuna salad this time. Well, heaven must be missing angels! It was gorgeous. I was so happy eating it. And it was so nice to go to bed that night having had something warm in my stomach! Just amazing!

On Saturday morning my graduation dress came. I had been disappointed during the week as I had tried on a dress on my normal size and it didn't feel that different. I decided to order one from Asos and it luckily came straight away. I tried it on and it was like a bloody tent! I wouldn't go that far, but it had a tent-like quality. It was just baggy! I was never as happy to have inconvience of having to send it back and order the next size down. I was on my own and I actually did a Riverdance. I don't know what over took me but my two feet just went a tapping and I was giddy. I had another swimming session with Clara and Katherine and felt so so so happy. I was all refreshed and I was a size down. Amazing. I went to get weighed and was really nervous as I'd been having my meals and baked potatoes. But, I lost 3 pounds! Which brings me up to my 3 STONE TARGET!!!! I have 9 days left and I reached my target. Another Riverdance moment. It's such a shame as it's a different pharmacist on weekends so there were no balloons, banners, rounds of applause. But I myself knew! I am just so happy. As I said before I want to lose 4 in total. So the next stone can come off with healthy eating and exercise, however long it takes. But I am so pleased I reached my 3 stone target. I never ever would've thought I could've shifted it! I am going to keep going with a positive attitude for the last week of shakes and will keep you posted!  This time I’m allowed lunch and dinner, what a treat! :) 

Gone Swimmin'

I'm back on track this week. After my emotional diva roast day, and then getting perked up by the 2 1/2 pound weight loss, I've managed to stay in good spirits. It was my last week of that Admin work experience at the College and I start work experience in a TV company tomorrow for two weeks so I'm feeling much more positive and looking forward to working in the area I enjoy. Working the admin hasn't been so bad as it has made the milkshakes weeks fly in so quickly. It makes me think that could be why last Sunday was so hard. During the week it's easier to keep to a routine and the days fly by, but having people round and socialising and eating there was no way of avoiding it. It'll be my last two weeks tomorrow and keeping busy for them will hopefully make it go quickly again, and then I'll soon be back to eating normal but healthier. 

I've got a month's gym pass on my hands, which luckily has access to the classes, swimming pool and health suite. I didn't want to start proper exercise until I was eating, as having so little calories I didn't want to burn them all off. I went for a test swim on Friday night, I know, shocking. My former Friday's were spent swimming in Red Stripe and Wine. This week I tried it out but stupidly went at my normal speed and left myself feeling weak. I went home and had a shake but needed an early night. I drank plenty of water to make up for it. The next day I went with my friend Clara. She hadn't been swimming in ages, as she prefers the gym, so we both went at an easy pace. It was much nicer to do it with someone else. We were able to do a few lengths and then stop for a chat. After we did what we managed we hit up the sauna and steam room. It all felt very Made In Chelsea. There was other older woman in the sauna talking about how they were struggling with weight and the best ways they find to lose it. It felt like a sisterhood, everyone joining in. Sista's doing it for themselves! After the gym I had to go get weighed, as I’ll be on the other side of London on Monday so will miss my pharmacy’s opening hours. Since Monday past I have lost 3 bloody pounds!!!! It must be the two swims. I now have 38 1/2 pounds off me, I am 2 1/2 away from my 3 stone target! My friend Isabel keeps referring to it as the weight of a butternut squash she had to weigh in work and has let me know I've lost the weight off 17 1/2 butternut squashes or 22 pineapples. There are some facts and figures for you kids. I felt so refreshed after my swim and health suite visit and then to find out the 3 pound loss. I was buzzing! It was worth all the Easter egg section in Sainsbury's that I’m missing out on! Although my Mum is keeping me a Malteaser one at home for when I visit in May. One Easter egg people, you have to have a treat once in a while!

I've now been giving the new maintenance milkshakes that I start on Monday as for the last two weeks I'm introducing foods!!!! They are new flavours, which is exciting times!! They are Orange Crème, Cream of Vegetable, Summer Fruits and Chocolate Desert. They have more fibre in them and contain semi skimmed milk as to prepare your stomach for getting back to food. I also can have a salad with protein in the evening. I am going to be skipping back from work! Tomorrow will be the longest day ever. I went today to get my weeks groceries. I was so lost in the fresh food section. I couldn't believe what I was doing. I have spent so long window shopping for nice food without being able to get it, I had to snap myself out of it and look at the dates on the food and get it. Dearsy warned me she could only have small portions so I am going to take into consideration that when preparing. I bought red onion, cucumber, red pepper, salad leaves, mushrooms, cherry tomatoes and chicken. To you this sounds normal, maybe bland shop. To me, it is a feast of flavours. I cannot wait to bite into something! I am a little nervous and I don't think it has quite hit me that I’ll be having some tomorrow. 10 weeks is long with no chewing you get stuck into that mentality. It’ll probably taste amazing!

I walked home from Sainsbury’s today and the strangest thing happened. Jeans that was quite tight before were falling down. I had one hand holding a brolly and one hand holding my groceries; I thought by the time I got home they would be at my ankles. It was a great feeling despite the inconvenience and lack of glamour. It is St. Patrick's Day today and I had been sad that I couldn’t have a plate of my mum's amazing stew, have a glass of Guinness and celebrate my pride in being Irish. But jeans falling down because they don't fit anymore made me feel that bit better! Laura's parents are Irish and they celebrate big in Leeds too,  so she's feeling like she's missing out too, so we're listening to our Irish songs and I'm content enough in missing out on this occasion! The benefits are so much better :) 

Ups and Downs

I've only three weeks left, it seems to be going quicker and I always thought the worst was over me. But yesterday for the first time I hit a nasty brick wall. I've been so fine with being around cooking, people eating, talking about it. If anything I have enjoyed it strangely. Yesterday a few friends popped round to see us, and everyone happened to decide last minute to make a roast dinner. As I said I've always been fine with them eating, I have even cooked and baked. And they have been so patient with me on this diet. But for some reason yesterday I really, really struggled. For the first time in 9 weeks I got upset on the diet. It is an emotional and mentally challenging diet, but I've never felt the need to cry on it. However when they were eating yesterday, it was cold outside (Winter is hanging around like a bad smell) and Roasts are something I knew would fill me up and make me warm and toasty. It wasn't only that, I think it was because I was in my room having shake, and the room they ate it was next door to me. I'm ashamed to say it but I got in a foul mood. I was angry at the shakes and hated them! I resented my friends at the time for being able to eat it and for hearing them enjoy themselves. I resented people who are naturally thin that are blessed with high metabolism. I hated that I always have to leave myself out. Always having to meet people after they eat. Stand in a bar with a glass of water etc. I wanted to pour the shake out the window, if it was a person, I simply would've punched them. I've never been like that on these; (or violent for that matter) I’ve always somehow managed to stay positive. But I just had to give in and let myself be upset. I kept my door closed and stayed in my room for the night because I was so ashamed for being upset over food. And I didn’t want them to feel guilty for going on as normal. They have been really kind with me on this diet and I don’t expect them to put their life on hold. I got in touch with my brother and he massively cheered me up by saying it was a coincidence I contacted him as all day he had been putting off his run, but thinking to himself that I was having milkshakes only motivated him to get up and go out. He also explained why it was understandable to not feel like this until this stage. At the start its a novelty, it's all new, it's a challenge. But 9 weeks in, it gets to the point of "Its not over yet?!" It felt so nice to hear that I wasn't being a Britney Spears/Lindsey Lohan. I'm not saying all this for sympathy X Factor vote. If I wanted that I would tell you about my granny, who is an angel! I know some people started the shakes from seeing how AMAZING Dearsy looks from the first blog, and as she prepared me so well, I would like to be frankly honest. The diet is definitely worth it, but it has its ups and downs. More up's than down's though!!

The rest of my week wasn't as dramatic! The edit took longer than I thought. I had a night where it was a late one and having to get up early to finish it, where a pack of Minstrels would have come in handy! At Uni when we had deadlines we lived near a 24/hr shop, we would take it in turns to do a snack run, get nice big cups of tea and let the sugar keep you going, and the comfort of the chocolate sooth your worries. On this there is no soother. A peppermint tea is nice, but it isn't the same. However it got to the weekend and I went to my friend’s birthday. A few people were really encouraging saying how much it has paid off which makes it all worth it. Not only that, but I was able to get up the next day after having had a good night, with no hangover, and go get my hair cut. My friend found a really nice hairdresser that isn't too expensive so I went there and treated myself. Not buying alcohol or going out for dinner means you can afford these treats now. They gave me the Mothers Day package, maybe because I have respect for momma's? I don't know :) But they gave me this set of really nice shampoos and masks that repair your hair. My hair grows out the ways more than down the ways so it was really nice to get stuff to keep it in good shape. I really needed my hair thinned badly so I left feeling a lot lighter when it was done and felt really cheery and pampered. I sat in that night and had an early night to sleep off the weeks stress. The next day was my Britney Spears emotional moment but we're moving swiftly on folks.

I got weighed today and I have lost another 2 1/2 pounds. That is now 35 1/2 in total. Which is just over 2 1/2 stone. I have three weeks left on the shakes but next week I start the maintenance diet. Which are two shakes and one small chicken and salad. That salad is going to taste nicer than anything I have ever tasted. I aim to lose another half stone on the last three weeks. Getting weighed today and finding out my result is sooooo worth all the Yorkshire puddings in Leeds. Roast who?! The ups are so worth the downs!

2/3's way through!

I'm 2/3’s of the way through!! I have a mere 4 weeks left. The last two is re-feed and maintenance, which trains you back into eating food. It still involves shakes, but 2 a day and then the following week it will be1 a day. So this is the last fortnight of having three a day. The final hurdle, the last lap. It seems to be flying in now!  I sent my parents a picture at the weekend and they couldn't believe the change and said how proud they were that I've stuck with it. So many people have been so supportive, which is the only reason I have stuck with it. I thought I would've dipped at the first Malteaser Bunny, but I've been walking past those bad boys thanks to good morale. Thanks y'all. Virtual high fives all round. 

A few people have said to me to upload a pic as they've been following the blog, but have no idea of how I look from doing the diet, so they have to guess by how much I tell him. I feel really cringe putting up pics of myself but I suppose it puts it into perspective, and this is like a diary. 

A lot of my friends ask how does my clothes feel, and I tell them it does it feel looser and I feel different but it wasn't until I put these two pics together that I realised how stuffed I was before in this blouse. It makes it all worthwhile to see the change for yourself. I didn't want to sound really arrogant saying that but I think working hard on anything your allowed to say your proud of yourself. It's really nice when my parents/family and friends tell me how pleased they are for me but it’s a really nice feeling to do something for yourself and feel it pay off. From doing this emotional and physically hard journey I can tell there is a different in being arrogant and being proud of yourself. As they say in mean girls "You go glen coco, you go!" 

For the first time in a long time I considered wearing jeans this weekend. It felt quite nice and give me a glimpse of things to come in the sense of new clothing options I have. I've always wore leggings as a self  conscious comfort blanket. By the end of this I just want to burn them! They have served me well but I am so over going out and feeling like I'm in comfy PJ's not just because I want to feel comfortable, but also because everything else looks horrible. Jeans, I’ll be seeing you again my friend. I can't wait to start proper exercise and tone up and get fitter and maintain this healthier living. Did I just say "I can't wait to start proper exercise?" WHO AM I?!?!?!

My flatmate Laura was at the market this weekend and picked me up this sassy diet book. Look at this curvy mama flaunting what it! It's a golden oldie recipe book, full of "The answers that all dieting food-lovers will want to know". It's really funny old recipes with healthier options. It's the first recipe book i've seen with that cover too! By the way this is not my aim for losing weight. She looks great but I'm not pining for her job just yet!

My friend Mark called over tonight with this little present for me. As I've said I’m obsessed with looking at food. You can look but you can't touch theory in practice again. I can't wait to go through it tonight and drool over it! I know I’m such a weird gal but it helps so I’m doing it. On the phone to my Mum I keep asking what they are having for dinner and she replies feeling guilty with a "I'll make it when you're home!" But it's not me looking for sympathy; it's me wanting more material to dream over! Foodstagrama, BBC Good Food and Food Porn Daily are the new Playboy. I know I would've found this weird if a friend did it too. But if it helps me out, so be it!

I lost another 2 1/2 pounds this week. My pharmacist wasn't there today, maybe she's been reading this and I've scared her off! But the girl at the counter was really smiley and asked me how I was feeling. She's got my back. I bought more daffodils this weekend and it's starting to get sunny. Spring is around the corner and the sooner it gets here the better!