Have any of you lot seen the film "Perfect Sense"? It's a really lovely film made by a Scottish film director David MacKenzie. Ewan MacGregor and Eva Green (girl crush!) are in it and it's one of my fave's. Based in Scotland, it's about an epidemic breaking out in the world where people start to lose their sense's one by one. So everyone loses their smell first, then taste etc, apparently it's to represent when people fall in love they lose their senses. We've just got over Valentine's so let's not get into all the mushy stuff just yet. More to the point, Ewan's character plays a chef in a fancy restaurant. And there is a massive panic when people start to lose their taste, that no-one is going to come there and they'll lose money etc. The boss keeps repeating a phrase through-out the film "Life goes on". It reaches a nice point where they realise that people coming to restaurants is not only to taste beautiful food, but it's to be waited on, to not have to do anything, to get everything handed to them at their leisure. So they come up with a way of keeping this, by serving food with different textures, such as Al dente pasta so they get the crunch. The customers still come even though they can't taste or smell it, but to be social, to go on dates, to meet up with friends and laugh, the taste and smell seems unimportant. And finally THAT is my point. (dragged that out didn't I? sorry. And thats not just what the whole film is about) Although I can't go eat and drink at social occasions, I can still come and enjoy myself. Going out for a coffee doesn't have to be about a moco-chocco-fatty-latte with a tripple choc cake that they bought in Sainsbury's for £2.50 and selling you a slice for £2.00. No, I can still meet someone in a nice coffee shop and still have the same treat feeling. I make an effort, get dressed up and go into town to meet a friend, have a black coffee and still have the nice feeling of catching up with a friend over a coffee. Last week I met up with my friend Tamara, we went to Trafalgar Sq to a Pret and had a really nice catch up over a black coffee. It was really nice to be in the middle of the hustle and bustle and just be able to relax in a coffee shop and have a good old chin-wag. Some people may know that i'm not great at shopping with people, I don't like dilly-dallying around shops waiting on people, I like going myself and getting what i need. However edging closer to d-day I suggested we go to Oxford St and window shop to get some ideas of clothes I can get when this is finished. It was really nice to see all the new Spring clothes in and think of things and shops I couldn't consider before. It even made me not hate all the people selling hot waffles with strawberries and Ice-cream outside the shops. I had a little "joke is on youuuu!" thought to people eating them. Whatever gets me through, eh? Although one thing which was hard, my fave fave FAVE sandwich shop 'Eat' that does the best soup ever have a shop INSIDE topshop, what? How insensitive! They do the best soup it is no word of a lie, at christmas they have one with turkey, ham, veg and stuffing balls, IN A SOUP?!?! It's a taste sensation. I smelt it before I saw it. Rachel you do not need it. you do not need it. you do not need it...."Life goes on"
As much as I'm enjoying this new journey, new me, new lifestyle and all that jazz. And I do feel so positive about it, and I know it's going to having amazing outcomes, yes yes yes.... I think it's only fair to be as honest as I can be. Dearsy held nothing back so that I knew completely what I was in for. Which is the reason I'm so prepared. I do try to stay positive and feel I mostly am. But folks, sometimes you just want to get up on a Saturday morning and have eggs and toast. Y'know sometimes this business can be a right old inconvenience. And inconvenience's are just a pain in my little bit slimmer arse. A day this week I went to work and brought my hand blender and mixing bowl as usual, and what did I do? Only went and forgot the milkshake. The ladies in work felt as sad as if one of their children forgot their lunch box. Now I know why my mum drives the whole way to my brothers school when he forgets lunch money. I fuelled up on coffee for the day so it wasn't so bad, but I had planned to go straight from work to Oxford St to get our flatmates birthday pressie, I had brought everything to work for after. It meant I had to go home first, have my shake then leave. The gals at work can't see why I don't just mix it in the morning and bring it. But because of the vitamins in it you have to drink it within 15mins or bacteria grows. (that's how it was explained to me). It's days like this that just make me resent it. I can't just pop to the local Tesco and get a sandwich and be annoyed at myself that it defies the point of me making a packed lunch if I'm going to go buy something. There's been a few times when I've had to leave early from meeting someone because I haven't had a shake in ages and need to get home to make it. This week was my flatmate Jess' birthday. I LOVE flatmates birthdays. My old housemate George used to tease me that I would be shaking with excitement on his birthday, even when he didn't care about his own. I love the whole excitement of it, on your own day you don't want to get self-indulgent, but on theirs you can use it as an excuse to not do anything and celebrate, and eat their cake! (If it doesn't sit on your hips stubbornly for a lifetime after, like some of us) We started a little tradition in my flat of making whoever's birthday it is breakfast in bed on their day. Well it started with Laura's as she was working on her birthday and felt sad about it so we thought we would surprise her. She was so overwhelmed that her immediate reaction was "Oh my god, I feel like Shania Twain!" (we were confused too, of all the celebs!). It carried on with them making me breakfast on mine, so it's a nice little tradition. Laura has gone off bread for lent, and I've gone off everything. So I handled the toast, coffee and juice, Laura handled the fry. We were two strong sista's telling ourselves it was all going on Jess' hips. Later in the afternoon we went for coffee and cake with a few friends, it was a lovely quaint coffee shop, with a beautiful chef that completely put the milk and sugar in my tea. Hot dangggg gurlfriends. Until he started dancing to a Katy Perry song. Now you know and I know that i'm a pop princess. But we don't need a pop prince. We got home and realised we had barely any time to get ready before we were going for Jess dinner and drinks night. I had to have two milkshakes in the space of half an hour and it actually felt like I was having two meals together. I didn't want to miss out on her sit down dinner as it was casual and our friends would be there. But it was a time like that where I was feeling sick from the two shakes that I thought if only I wasn't on these things! Loads of our friends turned up later for the drinks park, it was so lovely to see people, I worked it with my water and had a lovely night but it did leave me feeling sick all night. I really just wanted to have a glass of wine and loosen up like the rest of them, but had to stay positive and not curse the shakes. I managed to stay out til 1am so I felt happy I did it for Jess. I got through the fry, coffee and cake, birthday cake and a birthday meal. Going home early with a funny tummy was an inconvenience but feeling proud of yourself sure does walk over it.
Your allowed a moan sometimes aint ya? it's only normal. We're ladies and sometimes you just feel emotional and have a little moody mc mood mood, but you gotta take the good with the bad and get on with it. I woke feeling a lot better today. I was able to get new boots with the money I'm saving on not buying food/alcohol and felt so much better going out wearing something new. Some people I haven't seen in a while have told me they could tell I lost weight and it is such a good feeling! I met up with two friends from my Uni course this week, and them being boys I think didn't want to comment on weight. But we usually get drinks and a food platter when we meet up, so when I told them I was going for just a black tea, I had to explain Lipotrim to them. They said they had noticed but we're too afraid to say incase it offended me. Offend me? Hearing someone say they think you lost weight is the best feeling ever when you're working so hard for it. I know this isn't for everyone, as some people may get uncomfortable by it. But hearing it just makes me feel that something I'm putting so much energy and effort to is paying off. It's Beyonce music to my ears. It's worth all the black tea in China! Putting my negative mood from the weekend behind me, tomorrow is my next weigh in and my half way through mark. "Life goes on"..
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