Help, food is stalking me

Is it just me, or is food EVERYWHERE?! It is seriously stalking me, every corner I turn it's there. Posters, people eating, the smell.... aghhh. It wants me back and is throwing every tactic at me. This week has had its ups and downs, trials and tribulations...slightly dramatic, but it helps. Firstly, on Tuesday I had an interview for my grown up job. I got the bus there but wanted to be early, the problem is the bus took 45 mins, which led me to drinking a litre of water on the journey. As you would imagine I was desperate for the ladies when I got off. I still had half an hour before I had to be at my interview and I didn't want my first impression to be me breathless, hopping between both feet shouting about a toilet. I was pounding the pavements looking for a bathroom, and what was the only one available? . . . . . . . .  McDonalds!! I had a deep breath and went for it. I got in there and the only toilet I could find was locked. So I thought they were really strict and made you buy something to get the key. I went to the desk, barely looked up, ordered a black coffee and couldn't say clear enough "absolutely NO milk, NO sugar" He gave me the cup of tar (well thats what it tasted like) and I asked for the key. He then told me the toilets were downstairs. All that for nothing! I could've just went in, did the whole "Oooh I'm looking for a friend, oh she's not here, she must be downstairs" go downstairs, use their bathroom, and get out of there. I looked around and saw in slow motion all these people, laid back, their mouths dripping with salt, tucking into burgers. The whole experience was quite literally 'The Hunger Games'. I don't know if they are filming the second film yet, but they may stop production, ask for the CCTV from Great Portland St Mc Donald's and save themselves a lot of dollar. I got out of there and was walking down the street holding the cup. I got so anxious that what if I got papped holding a McDonals cup? (Papped for non-celebs is when you bump into a friend in the wrong place/wrong time) They would think I was a liar and a cheat. It tasted horrible but I felt so guilty buying something then literally throwing it out. It made me think of the people out there who really needed coffee and there was me wasting it. But at this rate it was either waste £1.49 or have an anxiety attack. I threw it in the bin and did a swift walk away from the place.

After the interview I had more time to have a nosey at the area. There was cafe's everywhere. Little dinky, cute, tempting cafes that have nice cakes and croissants on the window that look like pieces of art, hand sculpted with love. Y'know, the posh ones, that's not me being poetic about food, it just genuinely is fancy. Standing outside looking in I felt like a lot less glamorous version of Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Ttiffany's, when she is looking into the window and dreaming of buying something. Sighhhhh. I got myself home and had my milkshake before anymore luring of food.

I got some volunteer work with Future Cinema for the next few weekends, I did my training today and its amazing. They've turned an abandoned old school into a prison to act out 'Shawshank redemption' and i'll be one of the prison extra's. I chose to do weekends considering that now I won't be laying wasting the days away hungover, I could do something good with them. My training was all going well today, apart from one downer when she said one of the perks was you get a free burger or hot dog at meal times. My shoulders dropped, the old Rachel would've had a cheeky little grin thinking about the burgers, but the new me had to think "Can I bring a blender to the prison?". Anyway I'll reach that dilemma when I start. For the first day of training me and the other girls had a 1 hour lunch break. So they decided we should all go to a cafe around the corner. They call it a cafe but really it was HELL. I went to get cash out and met them there, by the time I got back they had ordered their coffee's (which came with a complimentary cookie, what a tease!) and I was hoping that was all they ordered. Well I was wrong, as I ordered my earl grey with no milk, they ordered, 2 chicken and avocado salads, 2 chicken and avocado baguettes, and a lasagne. How do I remember this? Because it's all I can think about since. This cafe just had to be the one cafe that are so friendly that they come over with an extra plate of free cookies, a bowl of free bread and oil and the biggest mountain of food I have ever seen in my life. The lasagne talked to me, I swore it. I love lasagne, I love making it, I love eating it, I love eating it the day after, you get the drift. This one came with salad, pepper and courgette on the top of it, and even potatoes. The salads had everything but the garden shed in it, every vegetable you could imagine. A full roast chicken was in there too! I felt so awkward when they all ordered and ate and I had to sit and look up incase I stared too much at the food. Eventually I threw in that I was on a bit of a detox and just trying to be good "You know what January is like!" I think they thought it was strange, I'm hoping they just thought I had an allergy. They kept talking about Ireland, maybe they think we eat spuds 11 months of the year and detox for one month. I was so sad sitting there with my earl grey and them chewing away. I could imagine it as if it was in a film/TV show, and the camera goes between all the food, then a blurry image of all the girls laughing and eating, and then a close up of me with a fake laugh but behind my eyes you could see sadness, because I was thinking about burgers and chicken, and it would be bloody Coldplay-Fix You playing in the background. Yes the milkshakes will fix me, Chris Martin you're right. Is it April yet?

I was massively cheered up this evening. My friend got me a ticket to see a new comedian called Luisa Omielan and just what was her show called..... "What would Beyonce do?" Yes you heard it. Girl after my own heart. Her whole show was revolved around when she gets to a new stage of her life or when something bad has happened, she thinks to herself "What would Beyonce do" she would then break into song, and  would do the routine. I knew I had a sister somewhere! She was amazing. It felt like a sisterhood of people who read religiously from the bible of Beyonce. She was a curvy mama and she shook it. It was such a good night, everyone could empathise with everything she said. I never laughed so much, one of those people that you just want to be!

Another good point this week was that I found out two people have started the diet from reading my blog. It made me feel really proud and it's all down to Dearbhail. She had the guts to do it without anyone to guide her the way she has guided me. Her before and after pics have now given 3 people the confidence to do it. I feel like we're in a curvy sisterhood together. We'll be swigging milkshakes together and getting slimmer by the week. It really helps to have someone to support you through it. I feel like Dearbhail should record that song "I'd like to teach the world to sing" but a remix of teaching the world to diet. The show tonight got me back on track from my downer, who needs lasagne anyway. I'm gonna go canvassing to my fellow dieters and spread the word that when your having a low point, just think to yourself . . . . . .

 We can do it diva's! xx